True Colors
by Befanini
Summary: COMPLETE “The gods don’t save anyone. You have to save yourself.” … But let me tell you… HE saved ME. Part 4 of the Torrent thread.
1. Stargazers

January 7, 2006

**Title: True Colors**

**Author: Befanini**

**Disclaimer: **I have absolutely no rights whatsoever. For fangirl daydreaming purposes only. XD

**Rating: **M

**Summary: **"The gods don't save anyone. You have to save yourself." … But let me tell you… HE saved ME.

**A/N: **

Well, here it is: the 'discovery' fic, the chapter of the Torrent thread that tells how Sanzo and Gojyo came together, and how Hakkai and Goku find out and how they feel about it. I actually started this story waaayyyy before I ever took up writing the SxGxS of Barely Breathing; the first chapter was actually written sometime last July 2005. But I put the story aside when it started to get too OOC (imo) – and then Bad Medicine happened, then Heatwave, then the whole sxgxs just took off with full speed, and everything avalanched until I totally forgot about this fic.

But here it is at last, I dug it up and reworked it, especially for Serephim and Jessica and Aries28 and all the other readers who emailed me asking for it. ) This story starts before the things that took place in "Torrent" – before Goku defeated Homura, but after Sanzo was slashed by the Fighting God's blade.

I have to thank my sister Pebbles for buying me the mangas, on which the heart of this story is heavily based on. Thanks sib! Now I just need the last 4 books… XD XD XD

* * *

"With thee I would love to live; with thee I would be willing to die." – Horace

* * *

**Chapter 1: Stargazers **

"He _is _beautiful, isn't he?"

"Huh?" Gojyo jerked guiltily, bending down and sorting a handful of leaves to hide his blushing face.

Hakkai laughed merrily beside him. "Oh come on, Gojyo… I know you too well… You think our Sanzo is a real beauty, don't you?"

Looking up through his lashes, Gojyo stole another glance at their leader. You wouldn't know it looking at him that just over a week ago the man had been slashed down the chest with a fiery, heavenly blade. He supposed that Genjo Sanzo was high in the favor of Tenkai indeed, and that the strange chakra on his forehead really meant something, after all. It was nothing short of a miracle that he was even up and about. Talk about an iron will and fierce purpose… their leader was deadly determined to finish the thing with Homura no matter what.

Across the inn's lawn, Sanzo was sitting on the grass, his back against a tree trunk, as he read the day's newspaper. The afternoon sunlight glinted off his rimless spectacles. The priestly robes were undone, pooled at his waist. Ivory skin gleamed in the sunshine, the blonde hair circled by a halo of gold. Slender fingers turned the pages, and an alabaster hand raised up to briefly lift off silken strands from his nape as a slight breeze blew. The man was so painfully exquisite, it hurt Gojyo to look at him.

He dropped his eyes once more, and sifted through his handful of leaves. "I think maybe he's been sent by the gods to punish me for my crimes," he answered Hakkai honestly.

Hakkai blinked. It wasn't like Gojyo to give a straight answer. But… punishment? For what crimes? If anything, he, Hakkai, was the murderer that the Sanbutsushin had sent Sanzo to look for. Certainly Gojyo had long since given up the street life since their paths had crossed. So what could his best friend be talking about?

"What do you mean, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked; watching as Goku came tearing out of the bushes and crashed into Sanzo. The healer winced. That had to hurt; Sanzo was still wearing tight bandages until his wound healed completely. Goku paled, stammering with sincere remorse; but Sanzo whipped out his fan and gave the poor monkey a good thwak. Over the distance Hakkai could just make out Goku's whining and Sanzo's irritation. He smiled. That was a good sign. If anything, Sanzo's stubborn spirit would speed his recovery faster than anything else.

"Oh, you know…" Gojyo replied casually, drawing Hakkai's attention back to the redhead. "Punishment for the long trail of broken hearts I've left behind…"

"Didn't you always say that the girls knew the score all along?"

"Aa… but what can I do? I'm irresistible. The ladies can't _help_ falling on love with me…" Gojyo gave a half-grin, but Hakkai looked thoughtful.

"I've known you a long time now, Gojyo, and you've _never_ looked at any woman the way you look at a certain someone." Hakkai stood up and dusted himself off. Hakuryu flew down from the roof and settled on his shoulder. "Seems to me you're punishing yourself. Why don't you just tell him how you feel?"

Gojyo started to fiercely deny that he felt anything, and then he gave a self-mocking snort. "Huh. Yeah, right…" he muttered, eyes downcast. He crushed a handful of dry leaves in his palm as his fist curled tight.

Hakkai turned and looked thoughtfully once more in the direction of their leader. He caught Sanzo staring intensely at the unaware, frowning Gojyo, and then Sanzo spied Hakkai looking and dropped his eyes back to his paper, turning a leaf over nonchalantly.

Hakkai looked down at Gojyo and found him glaring up at him. He gave his friend a fond smile. "You should think about it. What have you got to lose? You know you'll regret it if you don't."

With that, Hakkai walked off, murmuring to the mini-dragon.

Gojyo stared at the retreating healer, shock in his red eyes. He couldn't breathe, all of a sudden. Hakkai's parting sentence rang in his mind, and a voice inside him completed the unspoken words. _We are living each day on a gamble, traveling west and being entrusted with this Divine Mission as we are. Each day could be our last. Especially for Sanzo. Especially now, with Homura and his mad plans. _

His eyes sought Sanzo once more, and across the distance the priest seemed suddenly all too frail, all too mortal… all too _precious_. At exactly that moment, Sanzo winced and shifted, cradling his arm to his chest protectively as the wound throbbed from where the stupid monkey had bumped into him. Gojyo felt his heart twist painfully. That's right… that beautiful bastard was the reason he was even putting himself through the torture of this fucking mission in the first place.

* * *

XxXxX

* * *

At dinner that night, Hakkai sat feeding Hakuryu morsels off his plate, as usual. Sanzo picked at his food, then lit a smoke and read the evening paper. 

Meanwhile, Goku slyly tweaked some spring rolls from Gojyo's plate, but the kappa didn't notice. For Gojyo was staring at Sanzo.

"Oi, erogappa! Does Sanzo have spinach on his face or something?" Goku asked innocently.

Gojyo flushed as violet eyes lifted and regarded him curiously from the edge of the newspaper. He coughed. "I was… it was just—"

THWAK! Sanzo turned and hit Goku with the fan. "Don't steal food from another person's plate! Bakazaru…"

Gojyo sat bewildered, as the expected mocking glare never came his way. Instead, the monkey received the punishment. Hakkai sat observing with thoughtful eyes.

"Here. Eat mine if you're still hungry." Sanzo shoved his half-eaten plate to Goku. "Bottomless pit…" he muttered, shaking his pages irritably.

Goku crowed with delight, the sting from the harisen forgotten. Hakkai finally spoke up. "Maa, Sanzo, that isn't right either—"

"Nani?"

"You really should eat more. You can't expect to regain your full strength and heal properly without proper nourishment in your body."

"'Ch. Mind your own business."

"Mmpph…" Goku swallowed, then joined in. "Hai-hai! That's right! Eat to be strong! You'll starve yourself to death, you will…"

"Er," Hakkai laughed weakly. "Then don't you think you should give back—"

"Stop. Mothering. Me."

"Demo—"

The ikkou stared as Gojyo pushed his chair back hastily, causing it to crash to the floor. He stooped and righted it clumsily, stammering an excuse, before he turned and bolted for the door.

"Are! Gojyo!" Goku called, puzzled. "What's gotten into him?"

"Is he sick, Hakkai?" Sanzo asked.

"Just… leave him alone for a while."

Sanzo stared at Hakkai suspiciously for a long moment, before he gave a bored sniff. "Hn."

"So anyway Sanzo, do you still plan to confront Homura in a few days?"

"You betcha!" Goku snarled. "We have a fight left to finish, him and me…"

Sanzo threw the monkey a withering look, before transferring the haughty look to Hakkai. "What do you _think_, baka? I'm certainly not waiting around for that delusional freak to succeed with his idiot plans."

Hakkai smiled smugly. "Then you'd best _eat_ something, don't you agree? Shall I order you some beef broth, if that's more to your liking?"

Sanzo rolled his eyes. "Feh. Do whatever you want."

Goku crowed. "So the kappa's food is mine! Ne, Hakkai? He's not coming back soon, I don't think…"

"Bakazaru…"

* * *

XxXxX

* * *

Gojyo drew a deep, shuddering breath, and squared his shoulders. Now or never. He got out of bed and followed Sanzo out to the inn's garden. 

All four of them were sharing a room again tonight. At least the room had four proper beds. Hakkai and Goku had gone to sleep hours earlier, but for some reason the High Priest was fidgety. After an hour spent sitting by the window, Sanzo had finally left the room noiselessly. After fifteen minutes or so, Gojyo, who had silently been observing him the whole time, finally summoned enough courage to follow him out.

Normally he wouldn't have given a moment's thought about intruding on the notoriously private Sanzo; had in fact always relished seeing the purple eyes flare in indignation. He'd always thought it too cute the way Sanzo shied away from the most casual body contact, which is why he always did it, of course – he had a natural talent for seeking Sanzo out when the other sought to disappear for a few moments' peace, and took special pleasure in watching the pale cheeks flush and the violet eyes glitter dangerously when he slung an arm casually over the monk's shoulder. Sanzo stiffened and reacted precisely like a girl spurning the advances of an overeager young man, a fact which endeared him to Gojyo to no end.

But casual flirting and delicious rejection – the game of advance and retreat, as he'd taken to calling it in his own mind – was far different from what he meant to do tonight. Tonight he wasn't feeling playful at all. Tonight he felt deadly serious, and it scared the shit out of him. Sanzo hissing at him and spitting "horny pervert" whenever he indulged in the "touch" game he could take – but a rejection of his sincere feelings was something else entirely. Especially since he'd _never _felt this way about anyone.

Sanzo lay on his back on the grass, hands behind his head, violet eyes thoughtful as he gazed at the stars. The night was blessedly quiet and pleasingly cool, the silence broken by the occasional cricket, or a splash from the inn's pond. Absentmindedly, the priest lit a cigarette, blowing the smoke out with a little sigh.

"I try to remember what happiness was, and when that don't work, I study the stars."

Sanzo gave a startled jerk as a pair of long legs materialized into view. Golden eyebrows raised in approval.

"Derek Walcott," Sanzo stated, turning the golden head back up to gaze at the sliver of the new moon.

Gojyo stretched out beside him, carefully keeping a respectful foot away, his heart beating madly in his chest. Even from this distance he felt the heat from Sanzo's body, he smelled the clean, alluring scent of vanilla musk, he felt those piercing purple eyes scorching his face as Sanzo looked at him.

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, but I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars," Sanzo quoted.

Gojyo grinned smugly. That was one of his most favorite lines, ever. If the monk thought to stump him with that one, he was going to be disappointed. He felt an incredible tenderness well up in him to hear Sanzo saying those words. "Og Mandino," Gojyo replied triumphantly.

"Huh. What do you know…" Sanzo drawled in a dry voice.

Gojyo turned his head and met Sanzo's eyes. Crimson eyebrows raised as he quoted softly. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

Sanzo held his gaze for a long moment, before answering. "Oscar Wilde."

Gojyo allowed himself a half-grin. But the violet eyes only continued to regard him silently, searchingly. And then Sanzo sighed and fished out another cigarette.

Gojyo turned his head away slowly, his heart jumping madly in his chest. Now or never, you fool! he hissed to himself. Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow? More precisely, what was going to happen in a few days, when they planned to return and confront Homura once more… Gojyo squeezed his eyes shut tightly, biting his lip. When? When had it come to this? He had thought it was just a silly, sick crush… until Hakkai, damn him, until Hakkai had opened his eyes.

His eyes flew open, hearing the muttered curses as Sanzo's lighter refused to work. He grinned, his mood lightening as he fished out a Hi-Lite, clamped it to his lips, and pulled out his trusty Zippo. He lit his smoke, turning to offer Sanzo a light…

…But Sanzo was already there. Out of nowhere, like a flash, suddenly above him, an alabaster elbow braced on either side of his head. A brief flash of pain crossed the perfect face as his wound throbbed, before it was swiftly conquered and ignored. The golden head dipped down.

"Keep still, baka," Sanzo mumbled around his Marlboro. Before Gojyo could say anything, Sanzo steadied the cigarette in his mouth, dipped his head, and touched the stick to the glowing end of Gojyo's Hi-Lite.

Gojyo hardly dared to breathe, and lay rigid and still as Sanzo puffed once or twice to get his smoke to light up. Fuck it was so different when Sanzo was the one to get close to him, instead of him getting close to Sanzo under pretense of teasing. Then, he always had to be ready for a hit with the harisen or a bullet from out of nowhere, and he barely had time to enjoy Sanzo's nearness. It was more the thrill of getting under Sanzo's skin.

Whereas _now_… with Sanzo so unexpectedly moving close to him, imprisoning him helplessly without warning, with nowhere to go… Gojyo's blood fired in his veins, all his senses swooning at Sanzo's nearness, at Sanzo's heat, at Sanzo's smell, at Sanzo's _feel_, against him. _Gods_, he was going to moan soon and betray himself.

"Sankyuuu…" Sanzo drawled, backing away. Gojyo exhaled, shuddering; then felt his pulse hammer anew as the priest settled his head comfortably against Gojyo's shoulder, the rest of his body at a right angle with the redhead's.

"The ground's fucking hard," Sanzo drawled lazily. "Don't get any perverted ideas, kappa."

Gojyo couldn't answer as he drew in deep lungfuls of air; as golden, silken hair caressed his throat and jaw. He inhaled the heady scent of Sanzo's shampoo. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

"What are you doing up anyway?" Sanzo's voice reached him as if from a fog. "You usually sleep like a log."

Gojyo drew a deep drag on his smoke instead of replying, willing his heart to calm down. He can feel it beneath his head! Goddamn slow down, dammit! A voice inside him answered. Well fuck why not go the whole hog and just _tell_ the bastard how you feel, idiot?

"Gojyo?" Sanzo craned his neck, trying to peer up at him.

Gojyo sighed. This was a hell of a lot harder than he'd expected. Shit. How typical. He had no trouble whispering sweet nothings and love words to get a woman into his bed, but when it came to the real deal he was chickenshit, after all.

Sanzo frowned, and crushed out his cigarette. He moved away, wincing, then braced himself on an elbow, so he could study Gojyo's face. Gojyo groaned inwardly at the loss of the golden head pillowed on his shoulder.

Red eyes met violet; and Gojyo held his gaze for the briefest of moments, then slammed his eyes shut, rolling his head away to try and escape the merciless scrutiny from those enigmatic purple eyes.

"I might ask you the same thing," he finally replied, sitting up swiftly and mentally kicking himself for being a coward. Shit, shit, shit! The perfect opportunity, and he let it pass. He stood up slowly, even now not trusting himself not to grab Sanzo, crush him in his arms, and devour that hard, cynical, beautiful mouth, wounded, pained Sanzo and all.

Sanzo frowned up at him. Gojyo took a last drag on his cigarette and crushed it out beneath his boot, before turning and offering Sanzo a hand up. Purple eyes glared up at him; and then Sanzo admitted defeat and allowed himself to be helped gently up to a sitting position.

"You really ought to be resting that wound instead of stargazing," Gojyo mentioned. "Otherwise it'll open up again. It's only been over a week."

"Feh. None of your business," Sanzo growled.

Gojyo shrugged nonchalantly, and fought the urge to scoop Sanzo up and carry him back to bed and make sure he stayed there until he healed.

"So what's on _your_ mind, Sanzo-sama?" Gojyo drawled instead, not really expecting an answer. He hooked his hands in his back pockets and gazed up to the star-studded sky, drawing in deep draughts of cool night air. He was startled when Sanzo actually answered him.

"It's that goddamn monkey. There's a look in his eyes sometimes…"

"You see it too, huh?"

Sanzo frowned. "Of course I see it! It's been there since that time that the bastard Homura kept him in chains…"

"Yeah, I know. It's been bothering me too."

Sanzo gazed up at Gojyo's profile, measuring him with his eyes. Gojyo shrugged, then turned his head and raised his eyebrows at the monk. "Nani? You think I just get my kicks teasing and tormenting him? Hell, Sanzo, I care about the kid too, you know." _And I care about YOU. I care FOR you like you wouldn't believe…_

"'Ch." Sanzo got slowly to his feet, muttering curses, and then he let out a tired sigh. "I wish I knew what it was about. I don't need the goddamn Seiten Taisei released again on a wild rampage…" he muttered, remembering the fight with Kougaiji in the desert.

"Haven't you asked him?"

Sanzo snorted. "Baka. Of course. But he only looks back at me with confused eyes."

Gojyo pondered a moment. "Maybe he'll tell you, in time. Maybe we should just leave him alone for a while."

"Hn. That would be fine if we didn't have the final battle to think about," Sanzo grunted. "No, Gojyo, _time is exactly what we don't have anymore_." Sanzo sighed again, and then he walked away.

Gojyo slammed his eyes shut and clenched his fists. Damn. Way to sucker punch it to me, you bastard. "Had enough starlight, Sanzo-sama?" he called after the retreating figure.

"Urusei."

Gojyo stayed outside a while longer, cursing himself to hell for not telling Sanzo how he felt, and wondering if he'd ever have the courage to do it. Wondering if there was even enough time for him to do it.

XxXxX

* * *

**

* * *

A/N: So there it is, the first Chapter. Damn, I didn't realize it was that long! This is the neglected fic that I mentioned above, the one I started and later set aside. I've reworked it somewhat, like I said; but somehow it still feels a tiny bit OOC to me. Or maybe that's because I've gotten accustomed to my SxGxS. In any case, the Torrent thread _is_ more serious than Barely Breathing; and besides that I can do no more revisions on this first part and still keep its spirit intact. So it stands as it is. Chapter 2 next! **


	2. Secrets and Lies

**January 16, 2006**

**Chapter 2: Secrets and Lies

* * *

**

"'Twas not my lips you kissed, but my soul." – Judy Garland

* * *

"We leave after breakfast. I won't tolerate excuses," Sanzo informed the ikkou. He emptied his cup, stood up from the table, and walked off to the stairs going up to the inn's rooms.

Goku yawned and scratched his head. "Guess I'll go to bed too…" he mumbled. He followed in Sanzo's footsteps, leaving Gojyo and Hakkai to finish up the jug of sake.

"So… have you told him yet?" Hakkai asked his best friend. He observed as Gojyo's eyes hungrily followed Sanzo's figure going up the stairs, until the last whisper of the cream-gold robes vanished from sight. Goku, following after Sanzo, caught Gojyo staring once again; and this time the monkey wrinkled his nose and crossed his eyes.

Gojyo stuck his tongue out at Goku's retreating figure, and turned to face Hakkai with a sigh. "You think I would still be down here with you if I'd already done it?" he replied tragically.

"Ow…" Hakkai winced, pretending to be offended. "Man, that hurts…"

Gojyo leaned his chin dejectedly on his hand. "I could be _doing_ him right now…" he groaned longingly.

Hakkai grimaced, holding his palms up. "_Way_ too much information, Gojyo…"

Gojyo made a face. "Urusei! _You're_ the one who put the idea in my head in the first place! I used to be contented with just my perverted fantasies of the bastard…" his voice trailed off.

"But now?" Hakkai queried, sympathy in his voice.

Gojyo frowned and looked away, his cheeks a dull red. "Now I want it all, dammit… all or nothing…"

Hakkai looked startled. "You mean—"

Gojyo narrowed his eyes, his face still turned away. "I mean, hell yeah – either I have him, or I walk. This stupid mission be damned. He's right, anyway – he never asked me along. It's not like I'm needed…"

"Now hang on, Gojyo—"

Gojyo turned and faced Hakkai once more, his palm held up in a gesture of finality. "All or nothing. Period."

Hakkai sat back, folded his arms, and whistled softly. "Yare yare… And here I thought you just _liked_ him, Gojyo…"

Gojyo sighed, and lit a smoke. "I know." He glared at Hakkai again. "This is all your fault!" he accused.

"Me!"

"Hell, yes! If not for you the stupid bombshell monk would never have knocked on my door in the first place…"

Hakkai started to laugh softly, shaking his head. Gojyo glared at him. "Nani?"

The healer gave his best friend a fond smile. "Wow. I really had no idea. As far back as that, huh? And I though we told each other everything…"

Gojyo took a deep drag on his smoke before replying. He shrugged, avoiding Hakkai's eyes. "I guess I was afraid you would think it was strange… I mean, I can't even _stand _the guy half the time…"

"Love itself _is_ strange, Gojyo," Hakkai informed him. "Believe me, I would be the last person to judge you on who you fell in love with."

"I guess…" Gojyo muttered apologetically, and then he jerked suddenly. "Now hang on just a damn minute! I never _said_ I was in love with… San… zo…"

Gojyo blinked, and Hakkai guffawed heartily at the stunned expression on his face as the words left his lips. They felt so _right_, rolling off his tongue. The kappa stared desperately, pleadingly, at Hakkai; begging his best friend to right his world that had so suddenly gone topsy-turvy.

Hakkai patted his hand sympathetically. "There, there," he said soothingly. "It happens to us all sometimes, even to certified playboys like yourself."

"I thought I just cared for him a lot!"

"Well, now you know, don't you?"

"But Hakkai! It's _Sanzo_, for crying out loud!"

"I know. I'm sorry." Hakkai looked ready to erupt in a fit of hysterics again.

"Dammit Hakkai! I haven't told you everything!" Gojyo banged his fist on the table.

"My, my, is there more?"

"You bet your ass there's more! _Sanzo kissed me last night!_" And Gojyo watched in grim satisfaction as Hakkai's jaw dropped.

* * *

XxXxX

* * *

Meanwhile, upstairs, the monkey knocked softly on Sanzo's door.

"Nani?" came the low growl from inside.

"It's… it's me, Sanzo."

"'Ch."

"Can I come in?"

Long silence. And then a reluctant snarl. "Make it quick, bakazaru."

Goku entered cautiously, and found Sanzo sitting by the window, smoking, his room in utter darkness. He closed the door behind him, took a few steps forward, and hesitated.

"Well?" Sanzo growled. "What's the matter? What do you want?" He frowned as Goku stammered, and then the blonde forced himself to take a deep, steadying breath. Stop being a bastard, Sanzo. You're scaring the kid to death. His voice was a little gentler as he repeated gruffly, "What is it, Goku?"

Goku bit his lip, twisting his fingers together. And then all of a sudden he blurted out," Are you gay, Sanzo?"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"Er… you see…" Goku stammered, backing away as Sanzo advanced menacingly.

"Hai?" Sanzo bit out. Having backed Goku against the door, he halted and planted his hands on his hips. He was thankful for the darkness that hid the deep flush staining his cheeks.

"Well…" Goku muttered, avoiding Sanzo's eyes. "You see, I—I kinda saw you kiss Gojyo last night," he finished in a rush as Sanzo's teeth gleamed in a snarl.

"And just what were you doing spying on other people's private affairs you impertinent monkey!"

"I wasn't spying! I just happened to pass by on my way to the toilet—"

"You were _snoring_ when I left the room, baka!" Sanzo hissed, feeling his face grow hotter at the picture they must have presented – his arms wrapped around Gojyo from behind, embracing the half-breed to his chest, their mouths locked together, Gojyo's hands tangled in his hair as they moaned into each other's mouths… He groaned, and cursed under his breath.

"Well, I woke up when I had to pee!" Goku shot back defiantly, snapping Sanzo back to the present. "I couldn't help it if I saw you…"

Sanzo wanted to throttle Goku, but it wasn't the kid's fault, after all. He ran a trembling hand down his face instead, snorting in exasperation and annoyance. Dammit… God damn it all! This was the last thing he needed, especially since he couldn't even explain to himself why he'd done it in the first place… _Kiss Gojyo_… He groaned again. Today was awkward enough, only his hot temper had seen him through it, but he couldn't stay angry and surly all the time. Sooner or later Gojyo was bound to say something, and damned if he knew what reply he had to give. Shit, shit, SHIT!

"Go away, bakazaru," he muttered, turning away and walking back to his perch on the windowsill.

"Demo—"

"Don't make me say it again, monkey," Sanzo rasped warningly.

Goku pouted. "I just wanted to know if you _are_ g—"

"Forget what you saw. Leave and shut the door, Goku."

Goku withdrew sulkily, muttering. When Sanzo's voice dropped like that, barely a whisper, and got icy cold, _that_ meant he was _really_ pissed off.

"Nobody _ever_ tells me anything! _I_ don't have any secrets…" The door clicked shut.

Sanzo sighed, and dropped his head back against the window frame with a dull thump. "Damn you, kappa…"

* * *

XxXxX

* * *

"Damn you, bouzu…" Had he known it, he was the exact mirror of Sanzo, sitting at his window, smoking in the dark.

He'd left Hakkai downstairs, still flabbergasted after his little bombshell, and had trudged mournfully up the stairs to continue brooding in his room.

As he'd passed Sanzo's door, he'd considered just barging in, to hell with it, and let his hungry lips and eager hands do the talking for him. Bastard started it, anyway, and he certainly couldn't accuse Gojyo if Gojyo chose to pick up where they'd left off. This time, _this time_, the high and mighty priest had actually come on to _him_ – and whereas the times he, Gojyo, had done it before (or tried to, anyway), it was more of teasing and seeing how far he could push the haughty, icy monk. He'd been much too occupied with avoiding the inevitable bullet or hit with the harisen to even enjoy himself.

But last night it was Sanzo who had taken him by surprise, and stolen his breath away. Last night there was no hint of playing or teasing at all… Last night had felt all too real, all too serious… Damn, it had felt _so good_…

And so, after lingering for a long moment in front of the blonde's closed door, he had walked on to his own room. After the way Sanzo had acted today, had avoided him like a plague, Gojyo felt sure that all he would get if he tried to talk to Sanzo was a bullet in the head. Either that, or he would lose all self-respect by overpowering Sanzo, tying him up, and having his way with him, until the blonde passed out from sheer pleasure. Heh. Which would _still _mean a bullet in the head afterwards.

And heck, he wasn't really sure if he even _wanted_ to talk to Sanzo. After they'd defeated Homura after all, he'd lost the pressing urgency to confess. It was amazing how quickly the need to tell Sanzo had faded, considering he'd been a wreck the whole time since his almost-confession, during those last days they'd spent preparing to challenge the Fighting God again. He had just hoped that his companions had put it down to the coming battle before them; although he'd nearly given in at the last minute.

Scarlet eyes grew glazed as Gojyo remembered that moment, when Sanzo and Goku had been about to enter the last chamber at the top of Homura's fortress. Sanzo had halted, and pinned Gojyo into place with a single burning look, unfathomable emotion blazing in those purple eyes. And Sanzo had growled: "I don't read sutras for dead people." Just that one sentence, and Gojyo had nearly lost control and shouted out to the retreating figure. How else was a guy supposed to take that remark? _You better not die. _Did Sanzo _care_, too, after all?

And then everything had happened so quickly, one after the other, and afterwards they'd all been too exhausted, and nobody had even complained when they were informed that there was just one room, and one bed, available at the next inn. All any of them had wanted was oblivion for a few blessed hours…

But he _couldn't_ sleep, his mind wouldn't let him, as Sanzo's words echoed in his head. I don't read sutras for dead people. God knew they'd had their fair share of fights and battles since going on this Journey West; but that was the only time that Sanzo had as good as told him to be careful. _Take care of yourself._

Eventually his restlessness had forced him downstairs to the inn's veranda, and there he'd found the saru sobbing his heart out, and before he knew it he was comforting the kid, as Goku told him all that he couldn't tell Sanzo. And afterwards, as he lingered downstairs alone, Sanzo had noiselessly come up to him, and taken his breath away.

Gojyo sucked deeply on his Hi-Lite, the red eyes smoldering with remembered _heat_, as last night came back to him. He crushed out his spent cigarette, and moaned softly as he traced tanned fingertips over his lips. He shuddered, eyes closed, lost in the memory of those hard cynical lips devouring his mouth so possessively, so insistently… so _needily_.

Gojyo cursed softly, remembering how good Sanzo had felt pressed against his body, those lean ivory arms crushing him back against the priest's chest, as Sanzo moaned in tortured, desperate pleasure into his mouth.

Goddammit… he was such a fool. Such a fucking fool. He'd lied to Hakkai tonight, even though he honestly wasn't aware of doing so. Because deep down… deep down, he knew all along. He'd _known_ all along, after all. _He loved the bastard._ Sanzo… He'd convinced himself it was just a crush… then an infatuation… and then he'd settled on "caring" for Sanzo.

Shit. He chuckled weakly. Like _hell_ he "cared". Screw_ that_. He was head-over-goddamn-heels _in love _with Sanzo.

He sighed, and spoke the words aloud to the empty, dark room. "Ah, shit. What a fool you are, Sha Gojyo."

* * *

XxXxX

* * *

**

* * *

A/N: If it's not obvious enough, this chapter takes place after the events in "Torrent", in which Sanzo surprises Gojyo with a full-on torrid kiss. LOL So this should technically be Chapter 3. "Torrent" is Chapter 2.**

Given that it's a damn hard job for a writer to backtrack on herself, I do hope the fic still reads as a coherent whole so far. Fitting the Torrent episode in here was the most difficult part, so I'm glad that it's over with!

And dear people – don't get out your tissues. This may _feel_ angsty, but trust me, it's a happy ending. I've already written "Man to Man", for goodness sakes, and that takes place _after_ this discovery fic! Chapter 3 coming as soon as I type it up…


	3. Nothing Else Matters

**January 24, 2006**

**Chapter 3: Nothing Else Matters**

XxXxX

Once he drew  
With one long kiss my whole soul thro'  
My lips, as sunlight drinketh dew.  
Alfred Lord Tennyson

XxXxX

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Goku was crosser than ever, as the ikkou's behavior drove him wild with curiosity.

Hakkai went about with a new smile to add to his already impressive roster – and this time the satisfied smirk and the sly, mysterious look in the healer's eyes annoyed Goku to no end, leaving him with the bitter feeling that everybody was hiding some secret that nobody felt he deserved to know.

Especially since the erogappa wore a permanent silly grin all the time now, whistling happily, and being so icky and nice to him. Goku was suspicious. Oh yes he was. That one time when they had the talk about Homura was different. He was truly grateful to Gojyo for that. But the stupid cockroach was taking the big-brother act way too far, in his opinion.

And as for Sanzo… he was the worst of them all. Ever since the night that he'd ventured to ask _that_ question, Sanzo was grouchy and surly and prickly and thorny and just plain nasty. Just like a big old cactus. Even more than when it had first rained on the journey West. There was no way in seven hells that Goku would even try cheering him up this time, much less with canned peaches.

Sanzo glowered and snapped at everyone, and even took his meals in his room, whenever they happened upon an inn. Neither he nor the kappa even dared to relieve the boredom of the monotonous hours in the jeep with a good nasty brawl these days. The one time it had happened, Sanzo had actually forced him and Gojyo to get out and catch up to the ikkou's campsite hours later, on foot.

There was _something _going on, all right, and Goku was darn tired of being kept in the dark. Fortunately for the poor saru, the torture wasn't going to last much longer.

* * *

XxXxX

Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open. - Agnes de Mille

XxXxX

* * *

That very night…

Gojyo picked up the bottle and tilted it clumsily, licking his lips in anticipation. The lip of the bottle crashed down hard against the rim of his cup – not that it mattered, because the bottle was empty. Gojyo frowned at it, blinking hard. He tried shaking it vigorously upside-down, but no sake magically appeared. All that happened was that the shaking caused him to see double. He started to feel the beginnings of a pounding headache. He cursed. "Stupid, sonova—"

"'Ch." Purple eyes which were droopier than usual glared at him. "It's fuckin' empty, you mo-HIC! You moron!"

Gojyo laughed. Sanzo the dignified winced in pain as he hiccupped uncontrollably. He fumbled for his gun, cursing the redhead. Damn! Why wouldn't his hand obey him and go _inside_ his sleeve?

The kappa and the priest were seated at their lodging's tiny dining room. Hakkai and Goku had long since gone to bed in their own rooms. Goku with a sulky look, but with a full, contented stomach; and Hakkai with a migraine. The poor healer had endured the desert sun by himself, driving to get them to town while the others slept wrapped up in their cloaks.

And so that left Sanzo and Gojyo to finish up the supply of liquor that they'd stocked up on this evening, after two weeks of going without.

Sanzo gave up trying to retrieve his gun in favor of holding his breath in an attempt to stop the goddamn hiccups. The lack of air only made the room spin more crazily.

Meanwhile, Gojyo was knocking over the dozen or so bottles on the table in a vain search for a drop more sake. Coming up empty-handed, he propped his head on a wobbly hand and sighed in disgust. "Looks like we're all outta booze, bouzu," he slurred sadly.

Sanzo exhaled, and finding the damn hiccups gone, he snorted and shot the kappa a withering look. Although in his state the "withering look" was in itself withered. "No shit, Einstein," he sniffed. He fumbled with his pack and succeeded in fishing out a stick, which he managed to clamp on his lips after several attempts. He flicked irritably at his lighter, muttering, cursing the damn thing for refusing to work (or was it his thumb?).

Gojyo chuckled again. "Your Marlboro's on backwards, pretty boy."

Sanzo narrowed his eyes at Gojyo, before reluctantly dropping his gaze down his nose at the cigarette, the purple eyes nearly crossing. Damn. He snorted, feeling his already flushed face grow warmer. He spat the stick out, snatched it up and shoved it back in. He glared. "Wipe that st'pid grin off your face and gimme a light, asshole."

Gojyo complied, although it took several attempts and a lot of swearing and hissing before Sanzo managed to light up, and then he thanked Gojyo by blowing smoke in his face.

After several seconds of coughing and cursing and glaring, Gojyo clamped a Hi-Lite on his own lips. He stared down at his Zippo, back up at the haughtily smoking monk, back down to his sore thumb. "Screw it…" _If Sanzo could do it, so could he._ And Gojyo leaned close, grabbed the back of Sanzo's head, and drawled, "Keep still, baka." He touched his cigarette to the priest's glowing Marlboro.

Sanzo shoved him off with a murderous look. "Pervy bastard…"

Gojyo grinned back at him, and after taking a deep drag on his smoke, drawled lazily – "Heh. I seem to recall a certain bastard sucking the air out of my lungs a few weeks ago…" He raised a mocking eyebrow at Sanzo, the red eyes twinkling.

Sanzo snorted, his cheeks flushing furiously. "That was a temporary lapse of sanity, you shithead. It was the painkillers that Hakkai had given all of us after defeating that delusional freak Homura."

"Suuuuure…" Gojyo grinned wider, leaning back and crossing his arms behind his head, tilting his chair dangerously. "Blame it on itty-bitty white pills…"

"Asshole! You flatter yourself!"

"Do I?" Gojyo purred.

Sanzo rolled his eyes. Trust Gojyo to bring it up _now_, now when they were both drunk as hell. Now, when all of Sanzo's carefully prepared denials and excuses and calm, logical speeches and comebacks to whatever the kappa was going to say were deserting him. He had to shut the fool up. He had to… before he found himself going down a road from which there was no return. He had to stop that sinful mouth from saying any more, before his control deserted him. He'd never felt like _shooting_ Gojyo more in his life. He was going to reach for his gun in a minute and put a bullet in the kappa's mouth.

Desperately, Sanzo looked over, and spied the first-aid kit that Hakkai had used earlier to treat some minor injuries of Goku's, after their run-in with more blasted youkai this afternoon. He snatched the kit up and shook out the contents on the table. He tore off a long strip from the cardboard packing material of some gauze, and held the long strip up in front of Gojyo's widely grinning face. "You see this, kappa? This is me and you."

"You don't say. Looks like cardboard to me."

"Urusei!" Sanzo glared. He ran a long white fingertip down one side of the strip. "Me." He traced down the other side. "You." He stared earnestly at the blinking kappa, willing him to understand. "Parallel lines. See?"

Gojyo shook his head. "Nope. 'Fraid I don't, Sensei."

Sanzo sighed in exasperation. "_Parallel lines,_ you idiot!" he hissed. "No matter how far you extend them, the two will never meet!" The blonde tossed down his cardboard strip impatiently, and fumbled with the gauze, joining one end to the cardboard, and unfurling the rest of the roll to tumble the length of the table. The gauze reached the end, and toppled off mysteriously to some unknown corner. Gojyo watched the proceedings respectfully, and tactfully tried to hide a huge yawn behind his hand.

Sanzo glanced at the redhead, and found Gojyo staring hotly at him, instead of paying attention to the lesson. The monk gnashed his teeth, and picked up a band-aid instead. He tore the wrapper off with his teeth, got rid of the shiny backing paper, and curled the band-aid up so it formed a ring, the adhesive holding it together. "Look, even if you _curve_ the lines, the top line – me – will still never touch the bottom line – you. Parallel lines, kappa. You and me. Opposite sides, even, come to think of it." He demonstrated, touching the outer side and the inner side of the ring. "You see?" Sanzo looked up, and blinked, confused, as he met a pair of intense red eyes which looked suddenly crystal-clear and sharply focused.

"That's too bad," Gojyo murmured huskily, pinning Sanzo with his eyes. "I guess that means you _don't_ always 'repay your debts' after all…" (#)

Sanzo frowned and shook his head, trying to catch up. "What the hell are you blabbing about, kappa…" And then his heart pounded hard in his chest as Gojyo moved quicker than a drunken man – or youkai – had any right to; and he found his knees pressed hard against the redhead's thighs as Gojyo scooted near, chair and all.

"Oh? Don't tell me you've forgotten…" Gojyo drawled in a low voice, as he carefully picked up one of the band-aids and stripped off the backing paper. "You… and… me…" he muttered, biting his tongue between his teeth as he concentrated. Sanzo forced his eyes away from the tip of that tongue peeking between white teeth. He gave a strangled gasp as he looked down and saw what Gojyo had done.

"There," Gojyo murmured in satisfaction, dropping the twisted band-aid down before him. "A… er—whatchamacallit… a moby dick!" he exclaimed happily.

Sanzo stared, stunned. The bastard had gone and twisted one end of the strip of bandage, forming a deformed ring; but he was right: there was now only a _single edge_ running through the band-aid. _Damn._ He blinked, suddenly feeling sober as hell.

"And speaking of moby dicks…" Gojyo murmured naughtily.

Sanzo looked up quickly and saw the roguish grin curling on the sensuous lips. "It's called a _Mobius Strip_, baka!" he choked, still reeling from the shock. His chair crashed to the floor as he stood up frantically and backed away.

"Feh, whatever." Gojyo advanced on him with intense, fierce purpose. "I'm _right_, and you know it. One little twist and 'you' and 'I' cease to exist," Gojyo breathed, his heart slamming in his chest as Sanzo backed against the wall, with nowhere to hide. He braced brown arms on either side of the blonde's head and leaned in. "Nothing is left but _'us'_…" he groaned, dipping his head, burning to feel those cool cynical lips on his mouth again. _Gods_, he was _dying_ to feel just the touch of those lips pressed to his own once more…

"There _is_ no us," Sanzo gasped desperately, his senses going into overload at Gojyo's nearness, at his clean, intoxicating smell, at the heat blazing from the hard body nearly pressed to his own, at the fire smoldering in the scarlet eyes hungrily devouring his face, at the warm, moist breath kissing his parted lips.

"It's payback time, Beautiful," Gojyo murmured, and he reached out with a trembling hand to brush back silken strands of hair from wild purple eyes.

The feather-light touch of tanned fingertips almost grazing his skin had Sanzo shuddering and gasping for air, his desperate panting breaths falling on Gojyo's lips making the kappa moan low and deep. "I don't owe you anything, asshole," Sanzo glared, his muscles tightening to keep himself from throwing his arms around Gojyo and never letting go.

"Oh? Have you forgotten?" Gojyo murmured. He moaned, unable to resist any longer, and he dipped his head to nibble oh-so-lightly on the delectable lips that were parted to take in harsh gasps of air. He felt Sanzo's lashes flutter against his face as he drew back and breathed, "I saved your life, bouzu."

"So what, asshole? We all do that all the ti—"

Gojyo cut in as if he hadn't spoken. "My blood is in your veins. _You and I are already one," _he groaned, and he lowered his head to rest his forehead against Sanzo's, the intimacy of what he'd just said rocking him to the core. (#)

Sanzo froze. It was true. He'd been unconscious at the time, but he'd gotten the full story from Hakkai. It had happened so long ago now, back when they'd only started out on the journey West.

Yes – when he'd shielded Goku from Rikudo's attack, and he'd been injured beyond hope, and Goku had gone wild and his diadem had broken – according to Hakkai, Kanzeon had appeared and restored Goku's limiter, and then the Goddess of Mercy had saved his life – _by giving him Gojyo's blood, _after Hakkai had closed the wound.

The cocky bastard had teased him about it afterwards, he suddenly remembered. Something about sharing an "indirect kiss" – apparently that was how the Goddess had infused his mortally injured body with Gojyo's life-giving blood.

Sanzo's heart pounded madly, driving that very blood through his veins with all the fury and scorching heat of lava. Purple eyes stared into red millimeters away from his own, his lashes flickering against Gojyo's lashes.

"_Sanzo…"_ Gojyo moaned huskily. The need-filled sound sent ripples up the priest's spine. "You owe me, you corrupt, arrogant monk. Wasn't it you who said you always repay your debts?" Gojyo murmured, leaning in the final few inches to press his body yearningly against Sanzo.

The cold wood of the wall on his back and the hard heat of Gojyo's body in front made Sanzo shudder. "Urusei…" he rasped, clenching his fists hard to keep from crushing Gojyo fiercely to him. What the hell ever possessed him to kiss the kappa a few weeks back anyway? What the hell happened to his control? Non-attachment be _damned,_ he was _burning_ to attach himself to Gojyo in every way imaginable… had wanted this beautiful half-breed the moment he'd laid eyes on him.

"I'm not asking for your blood, bouzu," Gojyo breathed. "I'll settle for your…" He leaned closer and whispered the rest into the monk's ear.

Sanzo gasped, his whole body catching fire. Gojyo watched him and grinned as Sanzo closed his eyes and groaned deep.

Gojyo's lips hovered over his mouth as the kappa murmured. "But I'll settle for your tongue in my mouth, Sanzo…" And leaning in, he touched his lips to Sanzo's parted lips.

They both gasped at the initial contact. Gojyo's hands came up to frame Sanzo's face as he nibbled wetly on the blonde's lips, licking, suckling, biting gently, and greedily swallowing each harsh gasp of air that flooded his mouth.

Sanzo shuddered, his head swimming. Gojyo's low moans as he tasted and teased sent shivers up his spine. Gojyo inserted his tongue-tip the tiniest bit into his mouth, and Sanzo could no longer contain the low growl of pleasure that rumbled deep in his throat. His arms came up around Gojyo as he leaned fully, yearningly, into the kappa. He groaned deep, as, maddened by Gojyo's teasing, he thrust his tongue full force to ravish Gojyo's mouth thoroughly, just like he had done that night.

"Uhhnnn!…." Gojyo moaned into his mouth, the strong brown arms wrapping around him. They kissed wildly, the past weeks of built-up tension between them exploding in a furious burst of white-hot passion and intense need. Their arms withdrew from around each other as they each clasped the other's face. Gojyo pressed even closer to Sanzo, until the monk was backed hard against the wall. Sanzo strained wildly against him in return, until their bodies were molded from the chest down. But even that wasn't enough, and they had to abandon each other's faces to wrap their arms tightly around one another once more. Their mouths broke apart as they gasped for air, their faces pressed tight cheek-to-cheek.

"Fuck…" Sanzo swore, one of his arms sliding up Gojyo's back until his fingers were tangled in fiery red hair, clasping Gojyo's head tight against his own.

Gojyo shuddered and groaned at the touch of Sanzo's hand cradling his skull possessively. His eyes closed, feeling all of Sanzo pressed intimately, _yearningly_, against him. How he'd been longing for this, fantasized about this… ached to hold Sanzo like this the first moment he had seen him.

Nothing came close to this – not his wildest fantasies, not his hopeless daydreams, nor all the games he'd ever played, teasing the beautiful monk as an excuse to get close to him. All those he'd ever touched in the past faded to nothingness in the dazzling light of this man he finally held in his arms.

In contrast to the red eyes shut tight in pure bliss, purple eyes were wide with horror. This was it, then. All his life he'd spent shutting people out, and locking up his heart so no hurt or sadness ever touched him again… All of those defenses he'd put up to deal with the cruel hand that life had dealt him – all of them, gone. Gone, together with the only teaching he'd ever cherished from his Master. Koumyou Sanzo. _Live without being bound by anything…_ And here he was, powerless to deny himself the need to _belong_ to this beautiful rascal in his arms. All he wanted was to be _bound_ forever to this free spirit.

"Gojyo…" he groaned hoarsely, shuddering, and clasping the kappa to him desperately. "Damn you, you bastard…"

Gojyo chuckled huskily against his ear. "I know. Damn you too. You think it's been easy for me? You think I haven't fought against this?" He ran his hands soothingly up and down Sanzo's back as he murmured. _Yes, he knew._ He knew what this moment meant to the aloof, cynical monk. He knew what it took, the price that Sanzo paid to surrender to the undeniable force that drew them together, despite their fiery wills and hot tempers and glaring differences.

He also knew that it was too late, for either of them. There was no turning back. Neither of them could deny the fierce attraction between them anymore. Everything be damned. All he'd ever wanted, all that he'd been searching for all his life, was in his arms. He tightened his hold on Sanzo, and the monk groaned and cursed again.

"This doesn't change a thing, kappa," Sanzo hissed, pushing away just enough for amethyst eyes to glare into smoldering ruby depths. "I still don't like you. I doubt I ever will." And lean white hands trembled as they cradled his face, and gentle fingertips traced softly over the lines of his scars.

Gojyo grinned, his heart swelling with joy. "Hn. I know." He dropped his head to breathe softly into Sanzo's parted lips – "And I love you, too." There. He'd said it, and it was so easy, after all. And then he claimed Sanzo's mouth again as the blonde moaned weakly and wrapped his arms fiercely around his neck.

This time, when the kiss ended, Gojyo dropped his head to fasten his mouth to the juncture of Sanzo's jaw and neck, tasting Sanzo there for the first time.

Sanzo inhaled sharply in tortured bliss, the golden head lolling to the side as he clasped a hand to the back of Gojyo's head. "Gojyo…" he groaned thickly as the redhead kissed and licked and devoured his flesh like he couldn't get enough. The feel of Gojyo's mouth on his skin was almost more than he could bear. _"Gojyo…"_

Gojyo growled, licking a moist, fiery path back up to Sanzo's lips for another deep, wet kiss. "Sanzo…" he moaned softly between kisses. "Sanzo, I want to taste all of you…"

Sanzo murmured incoherently as he clasped Gojyo's face to press blind, passionate kisses down to Gojyo's throat as well. He growled softly and inhaled deeply, taking in Gojyo's musky cologne. His mouth opened to lick hotly at the kappa's pulse, and Gojyo shuddered. "Dammit, bouzu, answer me!" He grabbed hold of the golden head to force the monk's eyes to meet his.

Sanzo growled in annoyance at being disturbed from his eager exploration. Purple eyes bored hotly into red. "What do you _think_, baka!" he hissed, grabbing hold of Gojyo's collar to tug the kappa along to his room.

Gojyo held Sanzo's wrists and dug his feet in, ignoring the priest's livid glare. "But Sanzo… are you sure about this?" He groaned and cursed himself, but he had to ask. He had to. He hadn't kept his distance all this time for nothing. He _respected _the High Priest, above all.

Violet eyes narrowed dangerously. "Are you backing out on me, you fucking tease!" Sanzo spit icily.

Gojyo shuddered at the smoky desire in Sanzo's voice. "Your vows, you bastard. What about your—"

"Hn," Sanzo snorted, leaning in once more to taste those sinful lips. He couldn't help himself; he didn't care about resisting anymore. He swept his tongue inside Gojyo's mouth, greedily swallowing the kappa's weak, husky moan. "I've never served Buddha. I serve only myself. My body belongs to me," he growled against Gojyo's mouth. He let go of the kappa's collar to wrap his arms around Gojyo's neck, and stood tiptoe on the kappa's feet, the better to lean in and take full dominance of the kiss.

Gojyo shuddered helplessly, his arms going around Sanzo's waist. His head was swimming with pleasure as the kiss went on and on, as Sanzo clutched fiercely at his hair and speared his tongue over and over into his mouth, setting his blood on fire.

Sanzo drew back, breathing harshly, the alabaster hands withdrawing from around his neck to cradle his face possessively. Amethyst eyes bored into ruby, and the purple depths were clear and focused and intense. "I give it to you, kappa," Sanzo rasped hoarsely against his mouth. "My body is yours." Gojyo groaned, but Sanzo ignored him. He dropped his hand from his face to grab hold of his arm, pulling it away from his deathgrip on Sanzo's waist. The priest took the brown hand and laid it over his heaving chest. Beneath his palm he felt the wild drumming of Sanzo's heart, and the blonde's next words stabbed him to his soul. "You feel that, you bastard? It beats for you. _For you,_" Sanzo hissed angrily. _"My heart is yours. My body is yours. Nothing else matters."_

"Sanzo…" Gojyo moaned, overwhelmed. He dropped his forehead against Sanzo's as he drew in lungfuls of air. His eyes slammed shut, and his heart raced painfully. "Baby…" he breathed huskily.

"Don't fucking call me baby," Sanzo hissed.

Startled red eyes flew open.

"I can't abide mushiness, kappa. I won't tolerate it. I'm not one of your conquests." Purple eyes glared defiantly at him.

"That you're _not,_" Gojyo chuckled. Ah, his Sanzo. Still spitting and cursing to the very end, even while pressing his whole body passionately, insistently, against him. _My Sanzo._

"Hn. Fine. But I _will_ say I love you. Aishiteru. And I'll say it again and again. I'll never stop saying it." Crimson eyes twinkled teasingly at Sanzo.

Sanzo snorted. "Then _show_ me, you idiot." And Sanzo let go of him and walked swiftly to his room, the purple eyes flashing him the command to follow.

* * *

XxXxX

His kisses left something to be desired... the rest of him. - Author Unknown

A kiss is the upper persuasion for a lower invasion. - Author Unknown

XxXxX

* * *

And later, when he was buried so deep that he couldn't tell where he ended and Sanzo began, Sanzo moaned and wrapped lean ivory arms around him and pulled him close. He was surrounded by Sanzo, completely – sheathed in him, with the blonde's arms and legs wrapped around him, with milky white skin moist and slick against his own, with porcelain hands threaded possessively through his hair, with Sanzo's harsh gasps flooding his ears, with Sanzo's heart echoing the wild drumming of his own… and Gojyo groaned and broke their kiss, as his heart overflowed.

"Gojyo?" Sanzo breathed huskily, lean white fingers cupping his face and tracing the path of hot tears sliding down the proud, tanned planes of his face.

Gojyo shuddered, and opened his eyes, and gazed passionately into wondering purple depths. He grinned lopsidedly. "I swear I'm not getting mushy, blondie. It's just… I've wanted you for so long… I—I can't believe you're really in my arms…"

Sanzo slammed his eyes shut and cursed softly. And then, as if saying the words took great effort, he admitted gruffly – "I've dreamed of you, too. Of us. Like this."

Gojyo chuckled happily, and violet eyes flew open and glared at him, as porcelain cheeks were stained pink. Any more embarrassed swear words were cut off by Gojyo's mouth as he captured Sanzo's lips once more, and he began to rock them together.

… In a little while all that could be heard were muted groans and low moans and harsh gasps of pleasure as the kappa loved his rogue priest for the first time.

* * *

XxXxX

Thou art to me a delicious torment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

XxXxX

* * *

Much later, Sanzo turned his head and gazed down at the kappa pillowed on his shoulder, fast asleep where he'd collapsed, their limbs tangled together, and Gojyo's arms locked tightly around him.

He brushed back flaming red hair off the proud forehead, gazed down at the long eyelashes that covered deep red eyes that had always, always burned bright with fierce yearning for him. He traced gentle fingers over the scars once more. The violet eyes misted briefly with emotion. The fool had kept his word – he'd said it over and over, he'd said it with every breath, with every kiss, with each glide of his fingers over his body. And he'd said it again as they peaked together, sobbing out his name as pleasure tore through them both.

He wrapped his arms possessively around Sha Gojyo, pressed his lips against the tanned forehead, and grunted. "I love you too, baka."

* * *

XxXxX

Give me a kisse, and to that kisse a score;  
Then to that twenty, adde a hundred more;  
A thousand to that hundred; so kisse on,  
To make that thousand up a million;  
Treble that million, and when that is done,  
Let's kisse afresh, as when we first begun.  
Robert Herrick, "To Anthea (III)"

XxXxX

TBC…

* * *

**

* * *

A/N:**

LOL… Yes, Sanzo said that. ("Don't fucking call me baby!") Just as it feels _right_ in the Barely Breathing stories for them to use endearments, it felt natural while writing this fic for Sanzo to be more reserved and adamant about "mushiness". Heh.

Re the #: those who've read the manga will understand these parts. (But it's not imperative in order to follow the fic, mind you…) There are a LOT of details in the manga that I actually wish I had known earlier, so as to keep my fan fiction consistent with the original. Case in point: Gojyo's "inability to reproduce". That particular idea formed an important part of Longing, as you know (with one of Sanzo's promises from Gojyo) – not to mention Barely Breathing itself ("I want to have your baby") and my parodies Truly Madly Deeply and Episode 1:TMD. Grrrr…. In any case, I know now, and not being inclined to mpreg, fortunately, it has no effect on future fics and works-in-progress. (Which includes a Valentine's fic, of course… XD)

Lastly, the Mobius Strip thingy. YOU try it. Take a piece of paper, and cut off a long strip. Tape the ends together. You have a ring, with two edges. Top and bottom. Right? Two sides, even. Inside and out. Now take off the tape, twist _one end_ and tape it back together neatly. You have a 'deformed' ring. Now run your finger along the edge, all the way around, until you get back where you started. One edge. One side. _One dimensional._ Isn't that freaky? This is an actual scientific theory, and used in many sci-fi fics about space/time continuums and "parallel" dimensions.

My crazy muses just recalled the fact and insisted it was _perfect_ for 353 – how the hell else CAN you reconcile the grouchy, icy monk and the naughty, hot-blooded kappa being together? Well, there you have it: moby dick… er, _Mobius Strip_. Heh. Given enough of a deviant, demented, defiant _twist_, even parallel lines CAN connect, and create a single-edged, one-sided, unified whole. Sanzo/Gojyo. It's scientifically certified. LOL!

Chapter 4 next! XD


	4. The Sweetest Taboo

**February 6, 2006**

**Warning! **Yaoi Chapter. Heh...

* * *

**Chapter 4: The Sweetest Taboo**

The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods. Theodor Reik

Soul meets soul on lovers' lips. Percy Bysshe Shelley, _Prometheus Unbound

* * *

_

XxXxX

It was when he'd heard his voice that he knew. When he had somehow persuaded the beautiful blonde priest to read a sutra for Cho Gonou, mere hours after the four of them had met – when the monk had shot him a supremely annoyed glare from those incredible purple eyes, before he snorted and gave in.

He had watched in stupefied awe as the enigmatic, rebellious High Priest had placed a golden crown on his head, which had rendered that exquisite face all the more angelic. He had never seen such a pure, flawless sight – no woman and certainly no man had ever come close. Nobody had a right to be that beautiful. And then, while he was still dazzled by the ethereal vision before him, the monk had closed his eyes and began to chant.

And Sha Gojyo was lost.

He'd had a bad feeling the moment the knock sounded on his door. He had just been told by the man whose life he had saved that his hair and eyes were the color of blood – something he'd always secretly feared. And now the stranger with the beautiful green eyes who had occupied his home and time and attention for the past month was telling him that he, Gojyo, reminded the young man of his sins. Repentance. And now the only person he'd come to trust, grown close to, since Jien, was telling him goodbye. And he could see it in those eyes, although the pretty mouth smiled. Green-eyes was saying goodbye forever.

Just his luck. The first person he had ever felt a connection to, and the guy was fucking suicidal.

And then came the knock on his door… And there _he_ was, with his golden hair and amethyst eyes, and that impossibly fair skin, and that perfect face.

And that _voice_.

Gojyo would never forget that night. He remembered every moment of it: the k'so bouzu shooting at him for the first time, mere minutes after they'd met. The bastard kneeing him in the stomach. Shit, that had hurt. Gojyo had rounded on him and punched him one on the jaw. It would have gone straight to the sneering asshole's face, right smack in the middle of that haughty, aristocratic nose, if Gojyo had not had a twinge of misgiving at the very last second and aimed lower instead. He just couldn't bring himself to mar that face. It would have been sacrilege.

And still the bastard had the nerve to shove past him, trying to get to Green-eyes. That was when Gojyo had had to play dirty, and he'd wrestled the monk to the ground. Heh. _"Too bad for you my ground moves are killer." _And then the bakazaru had appeared out of nowhere, but somehow the man called Cho Gonou had somehow managed to escape.

After that, he'd sheepishly asked the priest and the boy inside his apartment, while the priest explained more fully about the green-eyed, soft-spoken young man charged with the murder of a thousand youkai. And somehow, during that conversation, while Gojyo was still raw and chafing from Gonou's parting words to him – the cold, arrogant, impossibly beautiful priest had spoken those words that had changed Gojyo's life forever. _"The ones with the strongest will to live are the ones who survive." _

_THE WILL TO LIVE._

There they were, looking for a man whose only wish was to die. The man who Gojyo had come to believe was important to him, the man who'd as good as told him that Gojyo reminded him of death. And here the haughty priest had restored Gojyo's faith in stubborn survival, with just a handful of words.

That was when Gojyo had felt the first stirrings of a deep, real attraction to the blonde, far beyond the surface beauty. That was when his soul started to vibrate, sensing a kindred spirit. He couldn't believe the irony of it, and had indeed laughed about it: _"Ha ha… what a shame you became a monk."_ And for the first time the blonde had twitched dangerously and shrugged him off: _"What's THAT supposed to mean! Hands off."_ It was scandalous, even by his standards, flirting with a holy man. But even then Gojyo just couldn't help himself.

And so they'd gone on, deeper into the woods, the three of them. Gojyo had insisted on going along. Fuck, he refused to let the idiot die. After he had gone and saved his damn life and all… a stupid death would piss him off. Oh yes it would. Gojyo was being greedy, and he knew it. Selfish. He wanted Gonou to live, if only to prove him wrong. His taboo coloring was _not_ a curse, dammit. He _wasn't_ damned. Mother didn't know _shit._

Gojyo had surprised himself by saying as much to the monk. When they had halted, unsure of the next path to choose, he had moved in close to where the monk was leaning against a tree. Gojyo had only meant to ask the blonde something, but then that powerful magnetism lured him in, and Gojyo had found himself laying a hand beside the man's golden head, as though the monk was a pretty young thing he was about to chat up. For an instant, he braced himself for lightning from the Heavens to reduce him to cinders for his unholy attraction to the holy man. It had to be an unforgivable sin. But even then, so soon after they had met, Gojyo just couldn't resist, and Heaven be damned. He was drawn to that face… those eyes… that voice.

So Gojyo had stared into violet, and told the High Priest that his red hair and eyes were the color of blood, the color of penance. And for the second time that night, the purple eyes had narrowed icily at Gojyo's audacity, and the monk had tapped his arm away, and once again sent arrows piercing straight to his heart with just a few well-chosen, brusque words. _"Do you seriously think that blood is the only thing that's red in this world? You're as stupid as you look."_

And there Gojyo was, staring wide-eyed. Speechless. _"What exactly are you expecting?"_

He'd grown his hair out. He'd tried to save someone who he'd thought was important. But the one who wanted to be saved…was _he. _Gojyo.

And then the saru had sniffed blood, and they'd run and found Gonou, in the process of ripping his second eye out, the FOOL, and the monk had gone and spit icily at the demonslayer. No, it was not reproach or reprimands or accusations about his crimes. Strangely enough, the monk had not addressed Gonou's sins against his victims. Instead, the monk chose to focus on what he, Gojyo, had confided in him. Gojyo remembered every word.

"_Was it you who said that red implies repentance? Repentance to whom? The Gods? The Gods don't save anyone. You have to save yourself. You can choose to die. You can choose to run… But dying alone won't change a thing. Trust me on that one. If you really want things to change… you're going to have to live."_

That moment had been his salvation. With those words, the damn arrogant beauty had redeemed Sha Gojyo, and bound Gojyo to him forever. The hot-headed, foul-mouthed, angel-faced High Priest was his equal and his soul mate. They believed in the same thing: survival. Inner strength. Damn the gods.

And later, when all four of them were standing on the ruins of Gonou's enemy's castle, and Gojyo had chided the worldly priest into reading a sutra, and that commanding, arresting voice rang clear as a bell, vanishing all conflict, and bringing them all together under that golden light… That was when he knew. He would follow Genjo Sanzo to the ends of the earth.

* * *

XxXxX

You with the sad eyes

Don't be discouraged

Oh, I realize

It's hard to take courage

In a world full of people

You can lose sight of it all

And the darkness, inside you

Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors

Are beautiful, like a rainbow

XxXxX

* * *

So here he was, on the Journey West, putting his life on the line, fighting off countless youkai attacks, enduring indescribable boredom during the long hours on the road, putting up with a whiny, annoying bottomless pit, suffering along with the others when they had to camp out, or squeeze into a tiny inn in godforsaken towns. And not to mention dodging bullets and stinging whacks from the harisen of their very short-tempered, moody leader. The gorgeous blonde he had secretly sworn to follow wherever he went.

If it were not for Hakkai, Gojyo seriously would have gone nuts fifty miles into their journey. Soft-spoken, mild-mannered, smiling Hakkai… Gojyo was not mistaken, after all – the man had been important to him. _Was_ important to him. After all said and done, when Gonou had been arrested and his sentence passed, and the sly, _sneaky_ monk had tricked Gojyo into cutting off his hair – the newly named Cho Hakkai had taken up permanent residence in Gojyo's home.

It had been awkward. There was none of the easy camaraderie they had shared when "Green-eyes" had been injured… before _those words_ were said. Instead, he, Gojyo, had found himself feeling stifled, and that had made Hakkai uneasy and feeling out of place and unwelcome.

Gojyo had apologized and tossed out a glib remark of not being used to having someone waiting for him – but if he were being completely honest, it was resentment he felt. Hurt, yes, that was what caused him to avoid Hakkai during those early days, after the Sanbutsushin had granted him his "pardon". For the first time in Gojyo's life he'd thought he'd finally made a friend, a _true_ friend, not like Banri and all the other punks he hung around with. But the closeness he had felt to the green-eyed young man was shattered by the stinging thought that Hakkai saw his red eyes and hair as a curse. It was hard to let go of the betrayal that Gojyo felt.

But after that business with Banri, with Hakkai coming to his rescue after all, and in the process both of them ironically helping the damn monk with the task which they'd refused to do at first – somehow, things had fallen into place. That unlikely event had cemented the fragile friendship into a solid brotherhood. And Gojyo at last had a family.

And when the icy, arrogant monk had announced that they were being sent on a Divine Mission, his family had grown to include a loud brat and a corrupt, gun-wielding, cigarette-smoking High Priest.

What a supremely blissful torture it had been – sitting behind that golden head, watching as the silken, sunkissed layers had grown longer and longer over the monk's collar. Gojyo had entertained himself for hours during the monotonous drives just imagining running his fingers through that hair. The stupid monkey was right: it would have been like holding sunlight in your palm. Sometimes Sanzo glanced up to the rearview mirror and caught him staring, and something indefinable would flash in those purple depths, before Sanzo would narrow his eyes and glance away dismissively.

Gojyo lived for that _something._ It felt dangerous, and mysterious, and made him want to discover exactly what the punishment was. It was a thrill. He, the half-breed child, and Sanzo the forbidden monk. It was, simply, the sweetest taboo.

Yes – all the nasty cuts and bruises from their enemies, all the headaches he got from putting up with the bakazaru, the discomfort of sleeping on the ground, or on the floor while his Royal Iciness got the only bed, even running out of Hi-Lites for days on end – it was all worth it, just for the chance to be near Sanzo. He couldn't help himself, really; he found excuses to sit beside Sanzo, to touch him, to tease him.

Sha Gojyo had a crush – or so he'd thought at the time – and man it was _delicious_ tormenting them both: teasing himself with stolen, burning glances and a bold arm draped over the touchy bastard's shoulder… and he practically _lived_ to see the furious flush in the pale cheeks and the icy glint in the amethyst eyes whenever Gojyo flirted shamelessly with him. For it meant that Sanzo was far from indifferent to him. Heh.

Plus, the bouzu's reactions whenever Gojyo flirted shamelessly with _anyone else_ were priceless as well. Sanzo kicked him, hit him with the fan, threatened and glowered and scolded, all the while declaring that Gojyo's little games with the ladies were going to land them all into trouble. Gojyo didn't see how, exactly – but it was too precious the way Sanzo's lower lip jutted out sulkily while reprimanding him in a possessive voice. Bastard just wouldn't let Gojyo shake the feeling that he _cared._

Well, Sanzo had shown how much he cared tonight. So much so that it almost broke Gojyo's heart, he just felt that happy. The insufferably smug, superior, gorgeous man had declared himself to be his. _His_. Sha Gojyo's. He still could hardly believe it.

Purple eyes opened slowly, and startled Sha Gojyo out of his reveries. The kappa was lying on his side, his head supported by an elbow propped up on the pillow, as he gazed tenderly down at the beautiful man who a few hours ago he had made his lover.

The drowsy purple eyes met intense red, slowly grew focused… and then Sanzo endeared himself even more to Gojyo by shutting them tight again, and cursing under his breath. "Shit… it wasn't a dream… Dammit all to hell!" The furious words were hissed through gritted teeth, accompanied by an embarrassed flush to the porcelain cheeks.

"Hey Beautiful," Gojyo replied huskily. He grinned wider as Sanzo shuddered from the touch of tanned knuckles softly grazing his face. Sanzo shrugged away and rolled to his side, still swearing a blue streak.

Undeterred, Gojyo followed to spoon himself against Sanzo, as the darkness outside the window slowly gave way to the pearl-gray of dawn. He pulled Sanzo back against him, locking an arm around his middle, and throwing a long leg possessively over Sanzo's hips. He leaned in close to nuzzle the pale nape, relishing the silken texture of the golden strands tickling his nose. Gojyo chuckled in delight when Sanzo shuddered again.

With strong brown hands he turned Sanzo around to face him, and the blonde put up no resistance, although a deep blush still colored his face.

Gojyo twinkled his eyes teasingly. "Are you shy, bouzu? God, you're so _adorable!_" The amethyst eyes blazed indignantly at his words. Moving swiftly, Gojyo rolled over to pin the hissing, cursing monk beneath him, at the same time reaching up to lace their fingers together.

Violet eyes spit fury at him, as Sanzo muttered resentfully. "This may come as a shock to you, you perverted asshole, but I've never done this before," Sanzo hissed. "I'm not used to waking up in the arms of – waking up beside –" The words trailed away into embarrassed silence.

Gojyo groaned, even as a fierce, tender light ignited in his scarlet eyes. "You'll get used to it. You'd _better_ get used to it, you beautiful bastard, because I'm never _ever_ letting you go… Never…" And dipping his head, Gojyo kissed Sanzo good morning for the first time.

By the end of it, Sanzo found himself with his arms wrapped tightly around Gojyo, and with one hand tangled through long red hair as he moaned softly into Gojyo's mouth. They were the merest breath apart, eyes closed, nose to nose, the whole length of their bodies pressed together. It was the most exquisite feeling in the world to drown beneath Sha Gojyo. Just the whisper of Gojyo's breath falling on his parted lips was a pleasure almost too much to bear. Sanzo cursed again, but weakly this time. "Damn…"

Their eyes opened at the same time, and impish red stared adoringly down into dazed violet. "So you _do_ like waking up in my arms, hmm?"

The purple eyes glittered dangerously. Hotly. "Urusei. Just kiss me. Kiss me, _kiss me…"_ Sanzo muttered, surging up hungrily to capture those wicked lips again. He knew he was moaning helplessly, that he was writhing with pleasure, that he was clutching Gojyo to him frantically.

"Uhhnnn… Gojyo…" He knew he was groaning the other's name with a shameless hunger and need, but he just didn't care anymore. He had had enough of the rascal's teasing, and games, and stolen touches and smoldering glances. Three years and more he'd had to endure the torment of resisting; and now what bliss it was to surrender, what absolute pleasure it was to give in. To give himself, to Gojyo. Goddamn horny, hot-blooded, sinfully sexy, provoking, maddening Gojyo.

"_Gojyo…"_ he moaned again, ripples of pleasure flooding him. Mouth to mouth. Skin on skin. Sleek, hard muscle and musky scent and silken lips and hot, velvet tongue. "Gojyo…" he groaned, grinding up against Gojyo in a silent plea for possession.

But the kappa had other ideas. His eyes flew open as Gojyo leaned away briefly, and then pressed something into his hand. Sanzo looked at it, and his eyes widened. It was the bottle of oil. The purple eyes searched Gojyo's face uncertainly, and eagerness and a hint of terror blazed in the violet depths.

Gojyo groaned, and rained passionate kisses all over Sanzo's face. "I still mean to collect that IOU, Sanzo. I still want your—" The rest of his words were drowned out by Sanzo's hoarse gasp. "B-bastard…" Sanzo groaned weakly. And then he captured the kappa's mouth in a crushing kiss that betrayed his need. "Tell me… show me what to do…" he rasped against Gojyo's mouth, their lips clinging damply.

"God, you're _hot_…" Gojyo groaned, and covered Sanzo with kisses again. Then he grinned. "You know what I did last night, how I prepared you—"

Sanzo nodded, glaring in remembered discomfiture at the intimacy of the act… and gods, how unbelievably _good_ it had felt once he'd relaxed.

"Then just do that, love. Use the oil, and make me ready for you…"

Sanzo blushed fiercely again, but the desire raging in his veins overcame his reserve.

So with murmured encouragements and approving moans from Gojyo, Sanzo experienced the pleasure of preparing his lover for him for the first time. Again the first time. He wondered how he was ever going to get used to this… and hot on the heels of that thought he wondered how he had ever lived _without_ it. He wondered how, and why, he had ever resisted this exasperating, perfect, beautiful scoundrel in the first place.

And then Gojyo clenched tight around Sanzo's fingers, and a groan escaped him as he thought of that tightness and that heat surrounding him. He wasn't sure he could stand it. He was sure he was going to embarrass himself by finishing too soon. Either that, or he would pass out from sheer pleasure.

Meanwhile, Gojyo was panting beneath Sanzo, heart thundering as the blonde demonstrated what a fast learner he was. While preparing him with oil-slicked fingers, Sanzo moved from ravishing his neck to exploring his chest with eager lips and hot, wet tongue. When Sanzo moaned around his nipple, Gojyo jerked up and reached blindly for the oil. He spilled some hastily on his palm, and then he reached down between them and grasped Sanzo, telling him without words that he was ready.

"Aaahhh… gods… Gojyo…" Sanzo bit his lip and remained motionless as he slipped in. Gods, this was torture. This was pleasure beyond anything he'd ever imagined. He hissed, and pushed deeper, and deeper still, until he was fully sheathed in that wonderful tight heat. Gods, that heat…

He tried a small thrust, and groaned as Gojyo gripped him. He thrust again, harder this time, and was rewarded with Gojyo's low groan. He withdrew slooowly, teeth clenched tight at the unbelievable friction, and then he thrust back in, nailing his lover's pleasure spot and making Gojyo squirm.

"Oh god oh god Sanzo… Sanzooo!" Gojyo moaned. "Do it Sanzo… God, baby…"

Sanzo groaned and forgot to object to the endearment as he reacted to the husky sounds of arousal pouring from Gojyo's kiss-swollen lips. He leaned down to kiss those lips again, his tongue slipping into his lover's mouth to the rhythm of his thrusts.

He pounded hard into Gojyo, and Gojyo locked long legs around his back as they moaned into each other's mouths. The bed creaked and rocked from the force and fury of their lovemaking, and their hoarse gasps and groans of pleasure flooded the room as they lost themselves in each other.

"Gojyo…" Sanzo moaned, tearing his mouth away. "Gods, Gojyo…" He buried his face in the redhead's throat, and shuddered in bliss as brown arms locked tight around him. So this was why Gojyo had cried last night. This was how it felt to be wrapped completely in his lover's embrace. Their hips grinding against each other was but a part of it. It was the _intimacy_ they shared in the act, it was limbs tangled together, arms holding each other close, sensitive fingertips caressing.

It was harsh breath mingling, it was hungry eyes drinking in the other's face, it was eager lips worshipping damp skin, and soft moans and breathless words in each other's ears. This was pleasure beyond the carnal, this was an all-encompassing bliss that came from worshipping the other and being adored in return. This was the savage, secret joy that only lovers knew. This was them, together. _Lovers._

"Gojyo…" he gasped, as the pleasure built in him to fever pitch. "Al-almost there…"

"I'm with you, blondie," Gojyo panted, tanned hands clasping his face to collide their mouths together yet again. "Come with me…"

Gojyo thrust his tongue deep into his mouth, and Sanzo's pleasure grew too sharp to contain; bursting from him in wave after wave of intense bliss as he emptied himself into Gojyo.

"Uhmm…" Gojyo gave a strangled groan that blended with Sanzo's husky moans. "Yes!" he hissed, grinding up against Sanzo as he came too. "Sanzooo…" he moaned, shuddering, as release tore through him, the pleasure so keen it left him breathless.

Sanzo lay spent on top of Gojyo. Their chests heaved against each other as they strove for breath. Their sweat-slicked limbs were tangled together. Sanzo's right hand felt numb under Gojyo's shoulder; and a spot on Gojyo's spine was sore where he'd been lying on the bottle of oil, but neither of them cared. They just stayed that way for a while, savoring the other's closeness, the other's skin, the other's heartbeat. The blonde's gasps fell in hot spurts on the kappa's shoulder, and the redhead's panting breaths stirred the golden layers of hair on the monk's nape.

After a few minutes, Sanzo extracted his hand with a wince, and Gojyo plucked away the offending bottle with a grimace, and they settled back down to enjoy the remaining two hours together, before breakfast and the road.

Somehow the prospect of the long journey west didn't look too bad anymore.

After a token protest, Sanzo allowed himself to be pulled back down into eager tanned arms that waited to enfold him in their embrace. This time it was the golden head pillowed on a hard bronze shoulder, as Gojyo lightly traced random patterns on his back with lazy fingertips.

Golden lashes drifted down. This was yet another level of pleasure that Gojyo was treating him to. The soothing motions of the kappa's hands on his back, the steady rise and fall of the muscled chest that cradled him, and the soft lips pressed against his brow were making him feel so sleepy and boneless…

"Tell me again, Sanzo," Gojyo murmured huskily in his ear, disturbing the delicious cloud of drowsiness he was floating on.

"Nani?" Sanzo growled, irritated.

"You know…"

Sanzo waited, and then he sighed when no continuation came, and the zen-like trance evaporated. He braced himself up on his elbows and raised an exasperated eyebrow as he stared haughtily down at the kappa.

The red eyes stared softly back at him. "Tell me now that I'm awake. Say those words you whispered last night," Gojyo requested with a small smile.

The violet eyes blazed with tender emotion. Sanzo gave an embarrassed snort. "'Ch…" Color flushed the pale cheeks. He knew what Gojyo was asking. And the answer to Gojyo's question had hit him weeks ago. Or to be more precise, he, Sanzo, had finally admitted it to himself, weeks ago. All the raging, overwhelming feelings that erupted in him where the kappa was concerned – all of that had crystallized into a single, solid, undeniable truth that day.

That day that had almost been the last. When they had gone to defeat Homura, once and for all, or die trying. There had been no hesitation, there had been no time, no assurances and no guarantees. They had just ploughed on with stubborn spirit and obstinate will.

He had led them. There was no time to think or consider, and his choices and decisions had been blind and desperate in their haste. It had been bad enough leaving Hakkai behind to deal with the undead demons. He knew how much the healer hated to give in to his youkai nature, but they had had no choice; and while he doubted about the rest of them, he felt sure that Hakkai would still be standing after all said and done. Not for nothing was the gentle-faced, soft-spoken man called "demonslayer".

Still, it had been bad enough, rushing up the tower with one less member to the ikkou. On top of it all was the worry that the bakazaru would go wild again – that Seiten Taisei Son Goku would be released. Cho Hakkai had control of his demon form. His mind was still intact, even if his instincts were narrowed down to killing. Whereas the stupid monkey… No matter how many times he'd already done it before, Sanzo was never completely sure he would be able to restore Goku's limiter. What a fucking irony it would be if they managed to defeat Homura and the world became in danger of the Great Sage.

So they had climbed on, and at the top the three of them had encountered the final hurdle before they entered Homura's chambers… and it meant leaving Sha Gojyo to battle his demons. Literally.

The very first time that Sanzo had met Gojyo, the redhead had surprised him by exposing his vulnerability and bitterness at his half-breed legacy. Considering the circumstances and the clash of wills that comprised their first meeting, it was disconcerting for the tall man with the startling red hair and beautiful claret eyes to suddenly turn around and bare his soul to Sanzo. Sanzo had recognized instantly that unlike the innocent Goku and this fragile Cho Gonou, here was a fighter, a survivor, like him. Here was someone who didn't need protecting; and yet all that had flared in him at Gojyo's frank confession was fierce, overwhelming _protectiveness._

So in his own brusque way, Sanzo had forced Gojyo to see the light. With sneers and well-aimed, cutting words… and even with a devious little joke. He was shocked, actually, that the half-breed took it to heart… and which resulted in Gojyo cutting off his hair in an act of defiance against his taboo coloring. _"Screw it… I'M the one who wants to be saved."_

After that, he and the kappa had shared a strained acquaintance. On his part, because he just didn't get involved; on the kappa's part, because Sanzo's arrogance irritated him. He supposed they were what could be called "bad friends". Or so Hakkai said. All he knew was that he had spent the last three years putting up with the cocky redhead's insults and teasing and the blatant flirting, all the while keeping his distance. Muichimotsu. Non-attachment. That was his mantra. That was his way of life.

And then, when it came down to it, Sanzo had faltered at the last moment. The enemy was waiting. Homura was going to triumph. The very world hung in the balance. But it was all he could do to force himself to think of the task ahead, and to trust that the half-breed would take care of himself. Even as Sanzo forced himself to walk away and leave Gojyo behind to deal with the last obstacle, he couldn't help himself from tossing back what was almost a command: "I don't read sutras for dead people."

And even as he turned his back, it hit him. He had just ordered the bastard to survive. To live through it… to conquer his demons… to be there when he, Sanzo, returned.

The pervy, cocky redhead was important to him, after all. No, that was a lie. Gojyo was _everything_ to him.

That was why he'd kissed the kappa, of course. It wasn't out of gratitude for being there for Goku. It was capitulation, pure and simple. _Surrender._ It was him giving in to the burning desire for Gojyo that he had denied for so long.

But he was damned if he had the patience to explain all that to the incorrigible devil smiling impishly up at him right now. Not at the moment, anyway.

"You little fool…" he muttered instead, bringing his hands down to cradle the wickedly handsome face. Sanzo held Gojyo's gaze, and there was no resisting the hungry plea in those scarlet eyes, no matter how awkward Sanzo still felt about admitting his feelings. So he dipped his head and breathed harshly against the younger man's lips.

"Aishiteru."

The kiss was hard and brutal, a stamp of possession, and an admission, and an acceptance. It was deep and desperate and hot. It was savage, and thorough, and it bordered on pain, and yet neither of them were willing to end it.

Slowly the kiss gentled, until it was only lips touching softly, and tongue tips tasting lightly, soothing bruised tissue tenderly, and exchanging whispers of breath.

Sanzo rested his forehead on Gojyo's, and Gojyo shuddered beneath him, trembling tanned hands threaded through the golden hair. And then Sanzo leaned back, and the redhead's hands fell to his waist. The monk held the kappa's gaze again as he slowly brought several strands of flaming red hair to his lips.

"I…" Sanzo breathed through the crimson locks, the amethyst eyes burning hotly into ruby depths. He leaned down as Gojyo gasped and slammed his eyes shut.

"Love…" Sanzo muttered, planting a soft kiss over each eyelid that covered beautiful scarlet eyes. Gojyo cursed, the large hands gripping his waist desperately.

"You." Sanzo murmured, licking hotly along the lines of twin scars that slashed through the proud planes of the handsome face. Gojyo shuddered and moaned brokenly, the strong brown arms tightening painfully around him.

"Sanzo… San—"

"You goddamn annoying idiot," Sanzo growled in Gojyo's ear; and the poignant moment ended with a shout of laughter from a very happy, overwhelmed, head-over-heels half-breed.

* * *

XxXxX

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. Victor Hugo

XxXxX

* * *

Sweetest Taboo  
by Sade

If I tell you  
If I tell you now  
Will you keep on  
Will you keep on loving me  
If I tell you  
If I tell you how I feel  
Will you keep bringing out the best in me

There's a quiet storm  
And it never felt like this before  
There's a quiet storm  
That is you  
There's a quiet storm  
And it never felt this hot before  
Giving me something that's taboo

You give me the sweetest taboo  
That's why I'm in love with you (with you)  
You give me the sweetest taboo  
Too good for me  
(Sometimes I think you're just too good for me)

XxXxX

* * *

TBC!

* * *

**

* * *

A/N: Damn, this is turning out longer than I had anticipated! And there's still the last chapter to follow… Yes, or rather, no – it's not done yet! (attn waterfall tears… ;-)) This is the discovery fic, after all, and it remains to tell Goku and Hakkai's thoughts about the lovers. Heh. That should be fun… (sweatdrops – I think I can sense another 5 days of no sleep… Heh.)**

So then! Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I did writing it. All tribute goes to Minekura-sensei for the majority of the back-plot (lifted from the manga), which this mad dreamer has gone and twisted to her own insane 353 imaginings. LOL

See you in the last chapter! Hopefully in a few days… "True Colors" copyright Cyndi Lauper.

"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad." - Lord Byron


	5. Tenshi Ja Nai

**February 8, 2006**

**Chapter 5: Tenshi Ja Nai!

* * *

**

Come live in my heart and pay no rent. Samuel Lover

* * *

XxXxX

Two hours later, Gojyo opened his eyes slowly, wincing at the bright sunshine flooding the room. He was flat on his back, the sheet pulled up to his waist. He turned his head to the other side, away from the window and the sun's glare… and came face to face with a pair of intense purple eyes that were caressing his face.

"Mmm…" The kappa rolled over on his side to fully face Sanzo. "How long have you been awake?" he mumbled, snuggling close and draping long limbs over the monk. He sighed happily when Sanzo accepted his embrace without protest, and even wrapped a lean ivory arm around his waist.

"A few minutes…" the blonde replied; and Gojyo grinned in delight as the purple eyes dropped down to his mouth, and Sanzo unconsciously moistened his lips.

Gojyo scooted his head closer and purred. "You didn't have to wait, blondie. You could've just kissed me awake…" he breathed wickedly.

Sanzo snapped his eyes back up and glared at him. "Asshole," he murmured in resentful embarrassment. And then he electrified Gojyo by rolling over abruptly and pinning the kappa down, as the white hands threaded themselves impatiently through crimson hair. Gojyo barely had time to let out a pleased chuckle, before Sanzo's mouth was fastened hungrily on his mouth, soft lips slanting over his lips as the monk's tongue delved deep.

Tanned arms wrapped tightly around Sanzo, and Gojyo kissed him back wildly with all the passion in his soul. His head was spinning. Sanzo was kissing him. That hard, lean, perfect body was pinning him down, a delicious weight resting full length on top of him, pressed against him skin to skin. Sanzo's arms cradled his head, Sanzo's fingers caressed his skull, Sanzo's tongue curled against his tongue, Sanzo's hoarse gasps flooded his mouth. Sanzo groaned his name almost desperately as he showered him with greedy kisses.

Sanzo was devouring him alive, and man it was heaven.

"Sanzo…" Gojyo moaned, writhing in pleasure and straining the blonde hard against him. "Uhhnnn… Uhnnn!" he groaned, as Sanzo dipped the golden head lower to lick and nibble his throat, the monk's own groans of need vibrating on his skin. Sanzo lapped lustily at his thundering pulse with lazy, velvet tongue, and Gojyo shuddered, panting hard as he fought to catch his breath. In the past, with all his casual, empty conquests, he had always been the giver. He took pleasure in his partner's pleasure, and prided himself on being an amazing lover.

But _gods_ now he was on the receiving end, and the fact that it was _Sanzo_ giving him so much pleasure just kissing his neck… He almost sobbed with happiness.

And then, just as Sanzo moved back up to claim his mouth again –

CRASH!

"Sanzo! Are you okay! I saw the ban… da… ges…" Goku skidded to a halt just within the door. Great golden eyes round with surprise collided with horrified purple and startled red.

"—Matte, Goku! Yare yare…"

Behind the saru Hakkai came running, wincing apologetically at not being fast enough to stop the monkey from barging in. He'd gotten up earlier to get a drink of water, and from the murmurs and moans coming from Sanzo's bedroom, and the fact that the door to Gojyo's room was open and the room was unoccupied, he'd pretty much put two and two together.

"Su—sumimasen!" Goku squeaked, his poor brain trying to process the image of Sanzo lying on top of Gojyo, the sheet covering them from the waist down, both of them flushed and short of breath and glassy-eyed. Gojyo's arms were wrapped tight around Sanzo, and Sanzo's hands were lost in the kappa's hair. Weirdest of all – both their lips looked blood-red and bee-stung.

"Oops…" Goku laughed weakly, and quickly turned on his heel and dashed away faster than he had come crashing in, arms shielding his head instinctively.

But the saru was safe from the harisen for the moment, with the monk hardly in a position to leap up and run after him naked. Instead, Sanzo slammed his eyes shut and twisted his handfuls of red hair painfully, causing Gojyo to yelp in protest. "I-thought-you-said-you-locked-the-door. BAKA!" he bit out from clenched teeth.

"Ehem." Hakkai coughed discreetly, met Gojyo's eyes with a merry smile, and backed out, closing the door behind him with a soft chuckle. "Yare yare…" the healer murmured again, feeling so happy for his best friend, and – at the moment – so sorry for him at the same time. It didn't take two seconds for the explosion to come, and the closed door did nothing to muffle the shouts and curses now coming from Sanzo's room.

"But I never _said_ I locked it!" Gojyo protested heatedly. "I thought _you_ did! This is _your_ room, in case you forgot, you arrogant, bad-tempered, goddamn monk!"

"URUSEI!" Sanzo roared. "And just how could I have locked the fucking door when you were the last one to enter the room, baka k'so kappa!"

"Dammit, tenshi, quit yelling! I've got one hell of a hangover as it is!"

"TENSHI JA NAI!"

"You got THAT right, asshole!"

"That's it. You're _dead,_ bastard. DIE!"

Hakkai shook his head ruefully, and left them to it. "Hey Goku, let's go get some breakfast at that place you saw yesterday, what do you say?" he called, knocking softly on Goku's door.

The door opened a crack, and huge golden eyes stared up at him. "Are you sure it's all right to come out?" Goku whispered, craning his head under Hakkai's arm to look doubtfully over to the other side, where Gojyo and Sanzo's rooms were. The nasty argument was getting uglier by the second.

Hakkai smiled down at Goku. "Would you rather hang around and wait for him to finish with poor Gojyo and start on us as well?" the healer asked dryly.

"IIE!" Goku yelped hastily. He made a mad dash for the door.

"Kyuuuu?" the mini-dragon stared curiously at Hakkai, as they followed Goku and pulled the door shut. From Sanzo's room the curses and threats were flying fast and furious. "Hm." Hakkai murmured. He petted Hakuryu affectionately. "We're leaving them to work it out."

"Kyu!"

* * *

XxXxX

* * *

Back inside, Sanzo had taken advantage of his position and was now locked in furious struggle with Gojyo. The monk was now straddling the kappa, strong legs digging into Gojyo's sides. Gojyo, on the other hand, had large hands firmly grasping the blonde's wrists. Livid purple eyes warred with angry red as they snarled at each other.

Sanzo reared up to gain more leverage… the sheet slid down past Gojyo's knees with all the thrashing about, and both of them were exposed. They froze at the same instant; Gojyo's eyes going wide at the sight before him, and Sanzo's eyes doing likewise at the _feel_ beneath him. Their eyes met, they glared at each other for another five seconds, and then Sanzo collapsed down onto Gojyo, just as Gojyo let go of the blonde's wrists and opened his arms wide to receive him. They both howled with laughter, gasping and snorting at the memory of the poor bakazaru's horrified bewilderment.

"Ah, hell…" Sanzo muttered at last, heaving a great sigh. "At least it saves from having to tell them…"

"Mmm," Gojyo murmured against his ear. "Hakkai already knows anyway."

Sanzo leaned up on his elbows and snorted down at the kappa. "How the hell could he know? We only… you know… last night," he muttered, glaring as Gojyo grinned at his awkward words.

Gojyo brushed away several golden strands from deep purple eyes. "I meant he already knows how I feel about you, baka," he murmured softly.

Violet eyes narrowed for a moment, undecided how to take the remark. And then Sanzo blew on his bangs as he too admitted gruffly – "Hn. The bakazaru saw us kissing that night. He knows too."

"You're shitting me." Gojyo raised his eyebrows, and then stared blankly as Sanzo nodded grimly.

"The little fool asked if I was gay…" Sanzo muttered, wincing. He hit Gojyo on the shoulder as the kappa exploded into hearty guffaws at his statement. "Yamero!"

Gojyo gave a last chuckle, and arched up to nibble lightly on Sanzo's pouting lips. "Then I guess that makes me gay, too." He waggled his eyebrows naughtily while grinding his hips up against Sanzo.

Sanzo groaned. "You really _are_ a horny devil… I want a smoke first…"

"Mmm," Gojyo murmured into his mouth. "Later, Sanzo. First straddle me again…" he breathed, teasing the monk with feather-light, moist kisses. He slid his hands down to grasp his lover's hips.

Sanzo gasped, and a throaty groan escaped him as understanding dawned. "Kappa…"

"Yup. There's something new I want to teach you…" Gojyo grinned wickedly as the purple eyes blazed with desire.

"Fuck…" Sanzo swore helplessly, and claimed Gojyo's mouth in a brief, hard kiss. "Then _teach_ me, baka, before those two come back…"

"My pleasure…" Gojyo purred.

* * *

XxXxX

What is commonly called love, namely the desire of satisfying a voracious appetite with a certain quantity of delicate white human flesh. Henry Fielding

XxXxX

* * *

"Ne, Hakkai…" Goku began hesitantly. They were halfway through breakfast in one of the town's small eateries, being reluctant to dine at the inn they were staying at just then.

Hakkai gave Goku a sagely smile, and propped his chin on his interlaced fingers in an attitude of respectful listening. The poor kid, having to witness that…

"I have just one question," Goku continued; and his whole countenance, bless him, was free of outrage or embarrassment or even resentment at what he had seen back in Sanzo's room. All that was stamped on the boyish, innocent face was… puzzlement.

"Hai?" Hakkai encouraged gently. He just hoped he had the right words to put Goku's mind at rest from whatever was bothering him the most. Darn those two!

"I actually asked Sanzo first, but he just told me to get out." The monkey glowered in remembered indignation. "Remember, the day after we defeated Homura…"

Hakkai drew his brows together, wondering where Goku was leading. But he nodded again, prompting Goku to carry on.

"Well…" Goku muttered, squirming. "Its just – uhm… I don't wonder about Gojyo, 'cause he's just a horny cockroach anyway, y'know, and… well – you see…"

Hakkai fidgeted as well, getting a little impatient, and more confused than ever. "What are you getting at, Goku? Just say it, whatever it is. It's okay." The healer covered one hand with the other as he crossed his fingers. DARN those two!

Goku took a deep breath, look straight into Hakkai's eyes, and asked point-blank: "Does this mean Sanzo's gay?"

Hakkai choked.

"I mean, I'm okay with his being a monk, 'cause he smokes and drinks and fires a gun and all… that doesn't bother me at all. But I'm confused – I always thought that if Sanzo would (gulp) … _y'know_… (sweatdrop) … that he would be with a girl."

Hakkai swallowed down the hysterical laughter bubbling up in him, as visions of the monk's face came to mind when Goku had asked his question. The healer could just imagine the frosty reaction the poor kid received.

"Ahem! Yes! Well you see, Goku…" Hakkai stalled. He poured himself some more tea and took a long sip to compose himself. "I don't think it's that simple. Me, personally, I never presumed to guess about Sanzo's – er – preferences. I suppose I just never thought about it… although I must say, like you, it's not necessarily because he's a High Priest. I guess I just put him down as someone who chose not to ever let himself fall in love."

It was Goku's turn to choke. He actually spewed bits of pork bun before he remembered to cover his mouth.

Hakkai smiled at him. "I know it sounds unbelievable. But it's the only explanation I have. Think about it. Only love could soften our Sanzo enough for him to – er – allow anybody into his –ah – bed." (Cough, cough.)

"_Gojyo?"_ Goku sputtered, unable to utter anything more, he was so incredulous.

Hakkai nodded wisely again. "Precisely, Goku. Those two are like cats and dogs. They don't even like each other very much. (Here, Goku wildly bobbed his head up and down.) And yet… well, you saw them together. What other explanation could there be? There isn't any, not if I know those two as well as I think I do…"

"You mean…" Goku goggled, dazed. _"Gojyo loves Sanzo too?"_

"Of _course_ he does, silly! And I happen to know this for a fact," the demonslayer added smugly. "He told me so himself."

Goku blinked rapidly and scratched his head, willing himself to comprehend the barrage of incredible information he was hearing. He pursed his lips and closed one eye meditatively, and peered speculatively at the healer with the other eye. "So they're _both_ gay, then!" he declared.

Hakkai snorted. _One track mind…_ "Hmm… nope, it's not that simple either," he mused.

"Kyu!" the mini-dragon squealed in apparent agreement. Goku frowned at them both, frustrated.

"I mean, in all the time I've known Gojyo, I can tell you for a fact that Sanzo is the only man who's ever caught his attention."

"No way," Goku denied. "He's been flirting with Sanzo from day one! Like he's _used_ to doing that sort of thing…"

"Oh yes," Hakkai insisted. "That caught me off-guard too, and I suppose I should have suspected something from the beginning. But at first I just put it down to him doing his best to irritate our grouchy Sanzo."

"Yeah well he does his best to annoy me too!" Goku glowered. "But he never made cheeky comments or acted like a pervert around me the way he does with Sanzo… Good thing too, or I would've killed him…"

"But that's just the point! He was never attracted to you!" Hakkai declared earnestly.

Goku scratched his head again, unsure if that was an insult or a compliment.

"Gojyo acts that way with Sanzo because he's always liked him!"

Goku screwed up his brows painfully, trying to understand. "But you just said they don't like each other very much…"

"Never mind," Hakkai sighed in quiet exasperation. "The point I'm trying to make is simply this: The way I see it, Sanzo and Gojyo had no choice, really. They just couldn't help themselves. To answer your question, Goku, they're not necessarily 'gay' _or_ 'straight'. The fact that they're both guys is immaterial. They just fell in love."

"Maybe if you keep saying it my ears will believe it." Goku shook his head, obviously needing more time to assimilate the whole thing. "Er… Hakkai, what's immaterial mean?"

"'It doesn't matter'."

Goku frowned. "Tell me what it means, Hakkai!"

"I told you, 'It doesn't matter'."

"GRR… I'm TIRED of secrets! Why did you go and say the stupid word then if you won't tell me what it means!"

"Yare yare… It means _'It doesn't matter'_, Goku. Irrelevant. Makes no difference. Get it?"

Goku stared at Hakkai suspiciously, still sulking. It was incredible that he was more upset with not knowing the word than he was with the idea of his 'sun' being together with his sworn enemy. And then Goku's eyes widened. "Ohhh…. _I _get it." And then he laughed his head off.

"Hopeless…" Hakkai shook his head, and smiled fondly at the innocent kid. He reached out and messed Goku's hair affectionately. "Don't ever change, Goku. Stay pure."

"Huh?" Great golden eyes blinked at him.

Hakkai waved his hand vaguely. He had a feeling that answering "never mind" would set them off on another merry-go-round.

* * *

XxXxX

* * *

After that enlightening dialogue, the saru felt much, much better. In fact Goku was in Heaven. He now had more ammunition to pester and bait Gojyo with. In fact, he began to plague the redhead soon after they started on the road again. (Two or three hours later than planned, owing to the – uh – delay.)

"Bwahahahaha…." Goku cackled. He dug his elbow into Gojyo's ribs as the kappa tried to push him away tight into "his corner". After a quick struggle, Goku scooted away, giving up on the physical fight but not on the verbal. "Hehehe… I guess I can throw away the _insecticide_ now that Sanzo's in looooove with cockroaches…"

Twitch.

"Bakazaru!" Gojyo yelled. "Who are you calling a cockroach, you walking talking stomach! A cockroach has bigger brains than you, you stupid monkey!"

"Oh yeah? At least _my _neck isn't all covered with hickeys!" Goku made loud smooching, slurping noises.

"You cheeky little runt –"

The vein on Sanzo's temple ceased to throb and began to _pound_. The two were oblivious.

"Yare yare…" Hakkai sighed. "We've only been five minutes on the road, guys. And it's going to be a long trip this time. The next town is three days away."

For once, the unquenchable monkey whooped with delight at the announcement. "That means the _poor _erogappa will have to—"

"That's IT! I'm gonna make you CRY, monkey!"

BANG-BANG-BANG!

The two subsided in the backseat, Goku still shooting the kappa gleeful looks and making a show of kissing the back of his hand.

Gojyo glared at him, and then a smug smile curled on his lips. He snickered. "Hah. Let's see who laughs last, baaaaa-ka. My baby can't _bear _to hit me with the fan now, so I'm afraid that from now on—ITTE!"

THWAK! THWAK! THWAK!

Sanzo swayed and balanced precariously on the moving jeep. He glared daggers at the kappa, a bright red staining the top of his cheeks. Hakkai glanced at the monk and slowed down nervously.

"Ow…" Gojyo winced, rubbing his head. "What was _that_ for, baby?" he began plaintively, and then he yelped and had to shield his head as two more blows came raining down.

"I _told_ you not to call me baby!" Sanzo hissed. Hakkai swallowed a snort. Goku clutched his stomach, kicked his heels and laughed uproariously.

THWAK-THWAK-THWAK-THWAK!

Sanzo rounded on the monkey too, and shut him up as well. "What the hell is so fucking funny, bakazaru!"

"Heh," Gojyo chuckled weakly. He was still covering his head and leaning away from the irate monk, which meant that the two troublemakers were now practically hugging each other as they quaked. "I guess old habits die hard, huh, tenshi?"

"I'M NO ANGEL, dammit!" Sanzo roared.

"Yare yare… It's somehow comforting to know that some things haven't changed at all, ne Hakuryu?" Hakkai patted the dashboard affectionately, a happy smile on his face.

"Kyu!"

"Yeah…" Goku muttered, grimacing, as he and Gojyo untangled themselves and sat far apart, Sanzo having dropped back down to his seat with one last furious glare. "So long as the kappa and I still share the punishment, that's all that matters to me." He cackled, and shot Gojyo a triumphant glance.

"Aw, just stuff it," Gojyo muttered, casting the blonde head a surly look.

"I mean, _I'd _certainly find it strange for Goku to be sitting here up front with me while Sanzo cuddled up next to Gojyo at the back," Hakkai murmured, keeping his eyes on the road, the green depths twinkling with rare mischief.

Sanzo swiftly hid an involuntary smile. "'Ch. Shut up and drive, Hakkai."

Purple eyes quickly flashed red orbs a smoldering, possessive look in the rearview mirror, and Gojyo leaned back, crossed his arms behind his head, and gave a satisfied grin. _"Sanzo baby," _he mouthed secretly to the violet eyes studying him, and watched with delight as they flared angrily.

Ah… he couldn't wait for the _punishment _those purple eyes promised him…

* * *

XxXxX

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."

- Roy Croft

XxXxX

* * *

**If I'm Not In Love With You**

**Faith Hill**

If I'm not in love with you

What is this I'm going through tonight

If my heart is lying then

What should I believe in

Why do I go crazy everytime I think about you, baby

Why else would I want you like I do

If I'm not in love with you

And if I don't need your touch

Why do I miss you so much tonight

If it's just infatuation

Why is my heart aching

To hold you forever

Give a part of me I swore I'd never

Give again to someone I could lose

If I'm not in love with you

And why in every fantasy

Do I feel your arms embracing me

Like lovers lost in sweet desire

And why in dreams do I surrender like a little baby

How do I explain this feeling

Someone tell me…

XxXxX

-owari-

* * *

* * *

Japanese mini-glossary:

Tenkai: Heaven

Sanbutsushin: The Three Sages

Kappa: water demon

Erogappa: horny water demon

Bakazaru: stupid monkey

Baka: stupid/idiot/moron

Harisen: paper fan

Nani: what?

Hai: yes

Demo: but

Ikkou: group/party

Are: Huh!

Sankyuuu: "Thank you"

Seiten Taisei Son Goku: Great Sage Equal To Heaven. Goku's pure, "true" form.

Urusei: shut up

Yare yare: Dear, dear

Bouzu: monk

Youkai: demon

Sensei: Teacher/Master

Aishiteru: I love you

Tenshi: angel

Sumimasen: I'm sorry/Excuse me/Pardon me

Tenshi ja nai: "I'm no angel" (LOL)

K'so: Japanese swear-word

Yamero: Stop it

Itte: Ouch (exclamation of pain)


End file.
